March 10, 2011

The Power of Prayer

Gentle Reader (Hi Anon!): You may know that I've been struggling the last few days. Serious and mortal temptations have afflicted me. I was, according to one of my Confessors,successful. Well, honestly, somewhat successful. Father says "Every time you say 'no', it is a victory" Of course, Satan and his minions can't stand that and they try harder. Maybe this is how Job felt; I don't know.

I only know I've hardly been sleeping the last several nights. It's like open warfare. I keep waking up-sweating.

I've been struggling lately with some of my regular prayers. I pick up my Rosary and I just sit there. Sometimes, I don't even recite the Decades. I just clutch it in silence in my car or on the couch at home. It's like I know the words but I just can't bring myself to say them.

This is not, so far, like the season of ash; it's like the season of sand. Aridity. Dry. Desert. If I were a Holy Water font, I'd be drained and full of cacti and sand.

I'm excited that Lent has started. I know some of you think this is another sign that I'm a total freak! But, since my reversion, I am excited when Lent starts-look at the pay off! Yet, I feel disconnected.

Plan? Check
Ready? Check
Passive? Check

I just feel blah. I'm scared I'm starting to revert to my old habits. There. I said it.Lent used to be blah to me. Meaningless. I never Fasted or Abstained when I should've. I sacrificed nothing. I did nothing.

I know to get out of this hole I need to keep praying. Satan would just love it if I would give up. Why give him the satisfaction? Why give my haters the joy of seeing me fall backwards?

I'm so grateful and thankful when readers and friends (really, what's the difference?) pray for me. I've learned never to be shy, reluctant or embarrassed to ask for prayer. Prayer is not only for times when you or someone you love is dying or seriously ill (I used to think it was only for those times). Prayer is for all times. Sometimes, you need the extra support-get on the "horn" and call for help. Some parishes have Prayer Chains-put yourself on it. I'm not kidding. Add your own name to the book at the Adoration Chapel. Post your needs on Forums. You don't have to put your name down-Lord knows-but if you feel you want to go right ahead.

When I put out the calls for prayer yesterday I am totally convinced it worked. I felt better. I felt like Satan left (for a time). The big ash cross I received later probably horrified him. Not to mention Auntie Adrienne'sthreats must have sent him packing.

I need reminders that I'm not alone-prayer helps.

Also, never be afraid to offer prayers. It's tough for me to remember this because often I'm embarrassed to offer prayer to someone. How lame is that? How often have people been pleasantly surprised and thanked me? Even the most hardened agnostic is hard-pressed to pause and wonder that someone cared enough to take a few minutes out of their day to ask for the best for them.

Prayer. It works.


Blogger The Little Way said...

I think we must be living in parallel worlds dealing with temptation.

An image just came to me when I read the words "prayer chains", one of the Evil One weighed down by shackles and weights composed of the prayers we offer for one another to help us stave off temptation. Once bold and confident that he'd make a conquest, he now drags himself from soul to soul, growing slower all the time, clanging as he moves from the weight of the chains. Father Gabriel Amorith wrote that the devil told him that every Hail Mary is like a hammer blow to his head. Even if you can't manage a Rosary, just think: one Hail Mary on behalf of one of your friends and you're as good as clocking The Big Creep right where it hurts him.

March 10, 2011 8:09 PM  
Blogger Terry Nelson said...

Praying very much for you. Lent seems to be tougher this year for all of us.

March 10, 2011 9:00 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Little Way: I like those images-thank you

Thanks, Ter

March 10, 2011 10:10 PM  
Blogger Angela Messenger said...

One word: Adoration.
Seek His face there.
My prayers go with you as does my Guardian Angel.

Much love,
Angie xo

March 11, 2011 2:00 AM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Thanks Angel Baby. I think you are right. I had to miss my Adoration hour this week due to a scheduling conflict and look what happened.

March 11, 2011 10:32 AM  
Blogger Angela Messenger said...

Let Him love the Hell out of you.

March 11, 2011 2:28 PM  

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