July 06, 2010

Ecce Homo

I’ve been meditating upon the Scriptures lately. There are so many stories of blindness turned to sight. Literal and figurative stories. Physical blindness healed. Figurative blindness healed by the sudden recognition of the Lord.

How many times have I failed to recognize the Lord? For much of my life I did not recognize the Lord in the blessed bread. Even the disciples, as many times as they screwed up, knew it was the Lord when He blessed the bread at the inn on the road to Emmaus. Quibblers will say that was different, a priest is not the Lord so the blessed bread at Mass is not the same thing. No priest is going to say he is the Lord but he acts for the Lord as the Lord’s duly consecrated servant at the Mass.

The Apostles did the same. They continued to bless bread and share the communal meal with those who had come to believe as they did: the Lord rose for our sins and the consecrated Host was Him. The Lord told them and some had trouble believing Him and left.

Nothing has changed. Catholics are taught that the consecrated Bread and Wine are His Body and Blood but many have trouble believing that is really true and with ease leave the faith and become Lutherans. If they only truly believed that the bread they ate and the cup they drank contained the fullness of Him: Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity they would never leave. No Protestant or Muslim or Jewish temple, synogogue, mosque or denomination can give you that.

There were times I threw the Lord in the garbage can. I picked him up off the floor and stuffed Him in my pocket and then threw Him in the garbage. I watched Him sitting in refuse and my conscious was pricked but the depths of dissent run as deep as stubborness and I refused to believe. I refused to pick Him up; I’m obviously no St. Simon of Cyrene.

I partook of Him many times and he sat in the refuse of my body; full of sin as I often took Him (I did not receive; I took)into my body. Mortally sinful but rarely sorrowful. Sorrow for sin was something somebody did in the old days. Sorrow seemingly left town with guilt around the same time.

Terry told me the other day that I could claim to be a ‘recovering dissident’ until the day I die. I should change my blog title to “Reparation” as I’ll definitely be doing that until I die.


Blogger Justin said...

Very powerful reflection. I'm so glad that you have been given the grace to have your own eyes opened up to the fullness of truth regarding the Blessed Sacrament. Think about it, even after doing things like throwing away the Host God still had mercy on you and brought you from darkness to light. Be well in Christ.

July 06, 2010 8:15 PM  
Anonymous Chris G said...

"If they only truly believed that the bread they ate and the cup they drank contained the fullness of Him: Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity they would never leave. "

As I see more and more family and friends drifting away from the Church, I have had this exact thought over and over and over again. If a person really believed, they couldn't leave. If they don't believe, then Catholicism is just one option among many (include the option for forgo the whole 'religion' thing.)
You see how He is treated in modern churches- tabernacle relegated to the side or a closet in the back--- it's no wonder people have lost their faith in the real presence.
(I'll stop rambling before I go on and on and on.... ;D )

I couldn't get my Google sign-in to work but it's me, I promise! :D

July 06, 2010 8:57 PM  
Blogger Terry Nelson said...

I was so much worse Cath - I can't even tell anyone. Me too making reparation untill I die, and then some.

July 06, 2010 9:38 PM  
Blogger Tom in Vegas said...

I can assure you that all of us will be recovering dissidents - to some extent - and making reparations until the day we die. But I believe in a merciful God. A God who has infinite right to condemn and punish severely in perpetuity, but his LOVE prevails because wills it to be so. This doesn't mean that I believe in that we-are-already-saved crap.

July 06, 2010 11:38 PM  
Blogger ignorant redneck said...

Just count me in as a recovering...not dissident, but apostate. And as someone doing reparation until I die.

July 07, 2010 1:22 PM  

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