March 28, 2010

Cathy's REC'd Dream

I amuse myself in these dark days by dreaming about what the L.A. Religious "Education" Conference would be like if a different Cardinal were in charge of Los Angeles.

I laugh as I imagine the new Cardinal having the REC, as usual, but pulling a 'bait and switch' once everyone arrived. He'd lock the doors of the convention center and proclaim a change in the program. He'd then proceed to move the entire event to the Cathedral and have 3 days of:

"Chant Notation for Smart Catholics"
"Let's Read the Catechism!"
"Augustine on your iPod!"
"Lovin' Latin"
"An Introduction to Mass in the Extraordinary Form (priests can attend free)"
"Appropriate Dress and Reverence in the House of God"
"Silence Before the Lord"
"How to get the most out of Adoration"
"Social Justice: What it really means"
"We are family: not a gay disco anthem!"
"101 reasons why liturgical dancing is ridiculous (I'd come out and teach this one for free)"
"Freeing yourself from the incense pot" (module includes a ritual breaking of the oppressive hold the round incense pots used in "modern" liturgy have on us all)
"Everyone loves a parade or How to lose 20 pounds in 3 days!" (A Eucharistic procession from Los Angeles to San Diego and back)

Closing with a 2 hour celebration of the Sacrament of Penance

It's the little things that amuse me.


Blogger nazareth priest said...

From your keyboard to God's ears, my dear!
I had a very bad dream about this whole thing: I dreamt I woke up in a Post-Pope Benedict Church where I was FORCED to do this CRAP!
No sleep and bamboo under the nails is nothing compared to that torture:<)!

March 28, 2010 4:55 PM  
Blogger Angela M. said...

I love this post!

March 28, 2010 5:05 PM  
Blogger Ray from MN said...

Perhaps in an adjoining hall, there might be advanced short courses such as:

1. Proper lengths for cassocks and surplices

2. Biretta tipping do's and don'ts

3. How often should the water in holy water founts be changed

4. Genuflection: one knee, or two knees?

5. Latin with the Italian accent

6. Orphreys on the chasuble: how many is too many?

7. The Order of Tonsure: is it time to resurrect it?

8. The proper color of rose for Gaudete and Laetare Sundays: When does "rose" become "pink?"

March 28, 2010 8:58 PM  
Blogger Joe Cap said...

I only wish your weren't going through 'dark days' right can't be just talking about sorrowful as it is, it is also joyful as we reach the end...and our salvation procured in the only way possible.
I enjoy your blog a lot.

March 28, 2010 9:16 PM  
Blogger nazareth priest said...

CofA: I saw the first video at Digi's site; then at Fr. Z.' I'm addicted...I can't get that music out of my head!
What do I do?
Is there an Intervention Hotline I can call?
Is there a support group?
I'm in trouble, here...I'm having visions of twirling deacons, serviettes (who are not bad looking, by the way) and a completely nude cloth, no there any help here ???
By the way...we just sing Greg chant here...outta the "Liber Usualis" that why I am going nutz here?:<)!

March 28, 2010 11:19 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Father: I think you need an Intervention! I'll send Terry, he's good at that!!!!

March 29, 2010 6:47 AM  
Blogger LarryD said...

np - stay away from my blog if you don't like the video. I'm considering putting up the other 11 segments!!


Just kidding. If I did that, followers would drop off like autumn leaves in a tornado.

CofA - I like the way you think, girl!

March 29, 2010 11:12 AM  
Blogger nazareth priest said...

LarryD: I could NOT stay away from your blog...I think I like to just "observe" (that's probably a sickness in the DSMP or whatever its called)...voyeurism? Liturgical voyeurism?
Is that a sickness??:<)!

March 29, 2010 4:22 PM  
Blogger LarryD said...

Better to observe liturgical abuse than to partake, np!

March 29, 2010 7:38 PM  
Blogger nazareth priest said...

Well said, LarryD...I still can't get that song out of my head!
That's exactly what these folks intend...brainwash the innocent:<)!

March 30, 2010 5:37 PM  

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