December 29, 2009

Plastic People

I had dinner with a friend tonight and we were talking about "reality TV".

If those programs are reality we are all in serious mortal danger of eternal damnation. Satan must be rubbing his hands with glee.

I think the prerequisites for being on one of these shows are:

*Willingness to do anything-not for fame but for infamy
*An IQ that is off the charts!-meaning too low to register
*Waxing addiction (btw, at what point in his career did Alec Baldwin start waxing his chest? Why do I notice crap like this?)
*Never having appeared in a production of Shakespeare in your entire, uh, "career"-even the role of a guard with no lines standing on the battlements in Hamlet will totally disqualify you
*Completely despise spending even one hour at a work site (but expecting to get paid for 8 hours) but total willingness to spend 8 hours in a beauty parlor or a gym
*Have botox in your face by the age of 22
*Have about 10 pounds of silicone or gel poured into your chest (guys and gals)
*Look completely unrecognizable due to excessive, and horrible, surgeries (I saw a brief episode of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and a friend had to tell me the Dad was Bruce Jenner-I was shocked. Really. Shocked)
*Make out with someone you barely know in a hot tub/forest/car/ferris wheel car/beach/fake looking castle
*Pull someone's hair out (s'ok, it's a weave anyway)
*The casting couch is dead, but it has been replaced by the swimsuit contest.

Honestly, WTH?

Remember when Three's Company and Dukes of Hazzard were considered idiotic and inappropriate shows? They look like O'Neill now.

I'm sad that soap operas have been replaced by this trash. Really. At least, Tony Geary can act.

But, the real horror is that people are watching this junk. They have to be; otherwise, the networks would not keep airing them.

16 Comments:

Blogger Adoro said...

So...uh...honey, the only way you could come up with such a list is if you happen to actually WATCH these shows. And not just WATCH, but STUDY them. Honestly, I've seen a couple of them but gotta say, for the most part your list here is so far beyond my comprehension it makes me realize maybe there's a problem here.

Which one rejected you? You can tell us..we'll understand....

You don't have to hide anymore...we still love you.

December 29, 2009 11:08 PM  
Blogger Geometricus said...

O'Neill!!!! Ha!

December 29, 2009 11:44 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Adoro: I have seen small snippets of the shows as I'm flipping chanels. A snippet is enough. Plus, you can't avoid the commercials for them.

I heard you tried out for Cops!

December 30, 2009 9:30 AM  
Blogger Terry Nelson said...

She tried out for "Backdraft" - the stage play too.

Don't slam "Three's Company" either Mrs. Ropper! And Boss Hogg was a thespian - but he didn't act on it.

You've gotten so high-brow since you've been writing for Our Word. "Can't Touch Me" - I suppose you hate "Family Guy" too. Sheesh.

Hey - do you remember "Soap"? That was actually one of the first reality shows.

December 30, 2009 10:36 AM  
Blogger Georgette said...

LOLlllllllllllllll :-D

You make me want to watch these...I had no idea!

December 30, 2009 10:43 AM  
Blogger LarryD said...

I tried out for The Bachelor until they told me I was ineligible because I'm married. I never would have guessed that the producers cared that much.

And no - my Christmas card was not a shot from the Survivor set!

December 30, 2009 2:16 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Ter: I DO remember "Soap"!

Gette: Yeah, I still question how Adoro knows my descriptions were accurate-lol

Larry-Sure, honey, sure.

December 30, 2009 4:52 PM  
Blogger nazareth priest said...

I hate to admit this.
Being a monastic, and all.
But I completely agree.
I have seen some of this "slop".
Oy!
My comment is, do they ever check the IQ's of these people?
It's embarrassing.
Not to mention a very, very bad example to the young; is this the example we want for our young?
It's just disgusting...
And I repent of ever watching any of this!

December 30, 2009 6:03 PM  
Blogger Terry Nelson said...

Oh Cath - I knew you'd remember Soap. I loved Bob and Chuck! Those guys could read each other's minds - it was amazing.

December 30, 2009 6:13 PM  
Blogger mary said...

"At least Tony Geary can act"
LOL!! It must be bad if Tony Geary is the person you are measuring these folks against. (Sorry, I didn't watch General Hospital, but Rick Springfield...at least he could sing ;}

I watched the first Survivor with the naked guy, now convicted felon. That was enough to cure me of any interest in reality TV. What we really need is "Homeschooling Moms of Minnesota," except I don't even know if I'd watch.

I miss the Dukes of Hazzard.

Oh, I did love the show, "The Mole" with Anderson Cooper!! Now there was a good show.

December 30, 2009 6:39 PM  
Blogger swissmiss said...

Oops, I just created a new account and it used the name Mary instead of swissmiss. Sorry!

December 30, 2009 6:42 PM  
Blogger belinda said...

Miss Cathy , you wrote- Satan must be rubbing his hands with glee.

I respectfully disagree, I think that he's gently running his fingers through our hair and stroking us until we're being lulled into an anesthetized state all the while passing us Cheeeetooooes and whispering in our ears something about how we simply don't measure up to these people and reaffirming his sick theology ; that we are liberated adults and accountable to no one. It's a free for all and we can do what ever we please and there's nothing wrong with that and if you disagree your either repressed, a bigot ,or your crazy and at the very least there's certainly something wrong with you.

Much of television teaches our children in particular to live for themselves ,but forget about the TV that's history. Our children have their own computers. I found my 6 year old son had one in his lap alone in the living room when I woke up this morning . It creeped me out. Our children's school passes out computers instead of books.

December 30, 2009 7:27 PM  
Blogger LarryD said...

Cathy - I think you might like this Reality TV show

December 30, 2009 10:37 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

This is just the most wack thread I've ever seen on my blog and that's saying something! LOL!

Geometricus is not, as I feared, dead in a sweat lodge accident, Swissmiss doesn't know who she is, Terry talks about gay character (ok, that's not weird), Belinda makes an excellent point, Fr Nazareth Priest admits he's watched some of this stuff, Larry is inspired by me (truly a sign of the apocalypse). LOL!

December 31, 2009 9:51 AM  
Blogger nazareth priest said...

Cathy of Alex: I promise, PROMISE, to repent...and to NOT watch this 'slop' anymore...:<)!
Curiosity and just plain "what the hell?" gets the best of even those who are trying to be good!!
My New Year's resolution!!

December 31, 2009 10:19 PM  
Blogger Bobby said...

I remember the Dukes too well. It was based on bootleggers in a town named Covington, GA (near Conyers, where the 1996 Olympic Equestrian events were held). Of course we all remember the 1970 Dodge Charger.

And speaking of raunch, in the movie series, the stunt driver for the Charger was Corey Eubanks, the son of the man who made a term that later led to the nickname of the minor league hockey team in Georgia popular on air on this television show (and he's doing it again next week).

January 01, 2010 8:52 PM  

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