April 16, 2009

How Can I Love Thee As I Ought?

Gentle Reader: Many of you know I am currently, and willfully, without employment at this time.

During this time I'm spending a lot of time job hunting. I'm approaching the job hunt as a full-time job. I'm up at 6:00 a.m.-same time as when I did have a job. I have breakfast (COFFEE!!). Then, I'm on the computer by 8, and, if necessary, phone by 9.

I'm also praying and attending Mass.

I'm worried.

I'm not worried as much about employment as I'm worried that maybe I'm praying to God, not because I love Him as I should, but because I want something out my attention. I fear that I'm approaching prayer as: "I'll pray to you, Lord, if you give me what I want"

I pray, and I tell the Lord, that no matter what happens I will never stop adoring Him and praising Him and loving Him but I wonder, sometimes, do I really mean that? If I don't get a job I want am I going to get mad and turn on Him?

Do I really love God as much as I should and as much as He deserves?

All I can do is continue but I don't have an answer.

How CAN I love Him as I ought? Jesus, my Lord, my God, my All.

15 Comments:

Blogger Chris said...

Just remember that He *wants* you to come to Him in your need- like a child who needs help with something- He knows your heart.
Continuing to pray for you, Cathy...

April 16, 2009 8:53 AM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Thanks, Chris!

April 16, 2009 9:24 AM  
Blogger ArchAngel's Advocate said...

A gentle reminder:
(Luke 18:1-8)
Then Jesus told them a parable about the need to pray continually and never lose heart. 'There was a judge in a certain town,' he said, 'who had neither fear of God nor respect for anyone. In the same town there was also a widow who kept on coming to him and saying, "I want justice from you against my enemy!" For a long time he refused, but at last he said to himself, "Even though I have neither fear of God nor respect for any human person, I must give this widow her just rights since she keeps pestering me, or she will come and slap me in the face." ' And the Lord said, 'You notice what the unjust judge has to say? Now, will not God see justice done to his elect if they keep calling to him day and night even though he still delays to help them? I promise you, he will see justice done to them, and done speedily. But when the Son of man comes, will he find any faith on earth?'

April 16, 2009 9:38 AM  
Blogger Argent said...

I think your being aware of the pitfalls of praying in time of need is a huge step toward humility. Hang in there. Will be in Adoration with your intention today.

April 16, 2009 9:48 AM  
Blogger Angela M. said...

Prayers ascend. Keep me posted.

April 16, 2009 10:23 AM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

There is nothing wrong with asking. It is actually necessary.

The good Lord healed me of a very painful condition after suffering almost my entire life. What took so long?? I NEVER asked to be healed.

We should always be asking for His will to be done.

April 16, 2009 10:26 AM  
Blogger Terry Nelson said...

You are on track - these thingss purify our prayer and our intentions, while grounding us in humility. We need to ask for what we need. I'll pray harder for your intentions.

April 16, 2009 11:25 AM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Wow. Thanks everyone

April 16, 2009 1:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cathy, Also remember that you are being tested at this time. The "doubter" always sits on our shoulder and whispers whenever we get a little down. God wants to hear whatever is on our hearts, even our needs for employment, as a child who goes to a parent with humility and honest emotion.

Tell pride and fear to take a powder. Be His child.

Maccabee

April 16, 2009 3:06 PM  
Blogger Tara said...

He's your FATHER!--of course you would go to him when your hurting--or needing something--He's there for you, ask and you WILL receive!

April 16, 2009 3:11 PM  
Blogger ignorant redneck said...

I seem to recall that The Boss told us to ask. he said that if our kid asked fro bread, we wouldn't give him a rock, or that if he asked for fish, we wouldn't give him a skorpion. And, if we sinners could do that, how much more could our heavenly father give?

Wht you are feeling is just Satan trying to keep you from asking Our Father for something.

April 17, 2009 8:45 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Great advice here. I'm SO grateful. Thanks!

April 17, 2009 9:45 PM  
Blogger kired said...

Keep praying, no matter what. My prayer four you is that God's Will be done, may the Divine Providence place you where you are most needed.

April 19, 2009 6:56 PM  
Anonymous tom kaiser said...

pray for i have no job no home i am sleeping in my car no money

April 22, 2009 2:32 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Tom: Prayers here.

April 22, 2009 6:00 PM  

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