February 27, 2009

10 Things I Do NOT Want to See This Lent or Eastertide

You can probably call this a wish list since I live in the Archdiocese of St. Paul/Minneapolis and you know our rep for loons (not just the state bird!)! Probably also a Cranky Cathy post because, well, read on...

1) Full body immersion dunk tanks for Baptism (I know this causes some of you grief that I don't care for thoe; but, honestly, those full body hot tubs remind me of my evangelical days. 'Nuff said)

2) Women receiving Baptism with white t-shirts on and inadequate foundational garments (Yes, I've actually seen this. Guys, don't ask for directions!)

3) Twelve women getting their feet washed by Father on Holy Thursday (Father, can we have the lavender oil? Thanks, dear.)

4) Creative, contemporary dramatizations of the Stations of the Cross (Seriously, I read descriptions like that and run like H-E-doubletoothpicks!)

5) A Good Friday Cross that looks like someone cut the telephone pole in the back down. Come on, is this not a forested state? Also a source of horror: a swatch of buckthorn twigs (gotta do something with that menace!) lashed together in the form of a cross..WTH is this? The Salem Witch Trials?

6) People who nab palms on Palm Sunday before Father has blessed them, run to the restroom or goof around, and then they want Father to bless them individually later. Well, aren't you special?

7) Puppet shows-you know who you are

8) Pentecost rainbow dramatics-you know who you are too

9) Friday parish soup suppers during Lent that have meat in the soups. Uh, NO!

10) Laypeople, especially women, competing with Father by wearing red garments on Pentecost. I get into hot water every year by expressing my opinion about this. Who am I kidding? I'm in hot water whenever I talk about clothing! I even look good in red!!!! It's one of the few days I DON'T wear red.


Blogger Chris said...

What's the deal with red or no red on Pentecost? Is it wrong to wear colors that reflect the vestments for a particular day?

(Serious question... I mean, people wear black to funerals.)


February 27, 2009 7:37 AM  
Blogger Terry Nelson said...

Now this is funny. Really funny. How do you think of these things? Can you imagine if a church actually did that stuff. Oh my! That would be like a spot on SNL! Oh Cath! Puppets at Mass - you should write comedy!


Home from my labotomy.

February 27, 2009 10:23 AM  
Blogger Angela M. said...

I have been known to wear a red shirt on Pentecost. I never thought of it as competing with Father but to honor the Holy Spirit. When I got married I wore blue to honor the Blessed Mother.

February 27, 2009 10:54 AM  
Blogger Angela M. said...

But I generally don't wear purple in Lent!

February 27, 2009 10:54 AM  
Blogger Terry Nelson said...

Angela reminded me - I wear tight red leather jeans on Pentecost - overweight or not.

February 27, 2009 10:57 AM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Bede: Hi. People may wear black to funerals but when is the last time you still saw priests at a funeral Mass in black vestments? Usually not done anymore. I could go off on a tangent about that...

In any case, no, red on laypeople at Pentecost is not, technically, wrong but your question nailed it: "wear colors that reflect the vestments". Why?

One of my ongoing gripes is there is too much competition in the pews, and by the lay ministers, for Father's job and his look. I think Father should be distinct to reflect the specialness of his role and his ministry. I'm convinced that part of the laypeople desire to match their colors to Fathers has contributed to "ordination" of the laity and laitization of Father.

I'm actually surprised you didn't nail me on the full body immersion Baptism! :-)

February 27, 2009 12:26 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Ter: TMI!

I want to see photos.

February 27, 2009 12:26 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

All: See what I mean. Whenever I blog about clothing, I get nailed! I should just start a Cathy Do and Don'ts of Mass attire blog. Really. Get everyone all worked up.

February 27, 2009 12:27 PM  
Blogger Terry Nelson said...

Angela is just a - can't say it because it is Lent. Pay no attention to her - she has no fashion sense whatsoever and is just envious. Hon - you write about clothes all you want - I love you.
The color purple - it is for Lent Oprah.

February 27, 2009 1:27 PM  
Blogger Terry Nelson said...

Oh - you were responding to Bede. Sorry Angie. Bede - be nice to Cathy.

February 27, 2009 1:28 PM  
Blogger Angela M. said...

That's OK, Ter - I just consider the source bwahahaha! (and I would love to see your red pants!)

February 27, 2009 3:23 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Ter: I'm trying to figure out what you just said. I'll get back to you. LOL!

Angela. Baby: Thanks for the b-slap of humility! LOL! I deserve that and I'm SO that. Yes, I'd pay real money to see Ter in those pants. Heh-heh.

February 27, 2009 3:58 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Oh and Bede is always nice. It's an honest question. Her and I can talk over it next time we are Cafe Latte-after Easter.

February 27, 2009 4:00 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

It was an honest question! Boy, the local Catholic blogosphere is a dangerous place for a newbie Catholic....

(who just appreciates being part of a church that HAS vestments)

February 27, 2009 10:12 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Bede: True.

I hope we (I) are not too severe.

I'll never forget what you said to me once while I was in full rant: "You don't know how good you have it". Unfortunately, that is a dose of truth.

You teach me probably as much, if not more, than I've ever taught you.

February 27, 2009 10:38 PM  
Anonymous Maccabee said...

I just came across your blog while visiting Sancte Pater. I am a recovering dissident Catholic also, with roots in the Twin Cities (St. Thomas U)and have been to the parish named after the French teenage martyr. Yikes!!

I applaud your honest sharing of your journey, and your encouragement to those many of us who are also waking up to the beauty and integrity of Holy Mother Church - the Mystery which we never fully underestand but always cherish because it is a gift given directly to us by God, through His Son, Jesus.

May the Holy Spirit guide us on the journey back home.

February 28, 2009 8:36 AM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Maccabee! Praised Be Jesus Christ! You've no idea what a lift your comment just gave me! Maybe, one day, we can swap stories.

February 28, 2009 9:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Instead of "not wanting to see" the Rainbow folks on Pentecost, try showing up at the Cathedral and proving them wrong by showing LOVE LOVE LOVE to them. As a recovering same sex attracted person, I have heard (and experienced) horror stories from those in my former lifestyle by well meaning Christians who wanted to "make sure they knew they were sinning." The staff of the Cathedral and the homily takes care of that quite well--what is needed is for them to be welcomed, greeted with respect as fellow humans, and to let them know you both disagree with them and love them.Period.

March 01, 2009 12:52 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Richardrev: I do all that but I admit I'm weary of their continual efforts to try and force the Church to reverse centuries of teaching to accomodate what they want.

They ARE welcome and they are told that by many, including me. Yet, to them, they will never feel welcome until they are fully accomodated. The full accomodation they want is never going to happen.

March 01, 2009 2:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

YOU may do all of that, but not everyone reading your words does. I just wanted to emphasize it because I have personally observed just the opposite from so many. God bless!

March 01, 2009 11:29 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Richardrev: Thank you for pointing out the harshness in my words. Peace be with you. I hope you stop by again!

March 02, 2009 4:29 PM  
Blogger Owen said...

In Canada it's H E double hockey sticks.

Most of what you describe here sounds exactly like the sects I came out of so hey, I'm with you.

March 03, 2009 2:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am also curious about the vestment thing. As a convert, I thought it was a neat private devotion to when possible match the liturgical color. I didn't look at it as copying father so much as wearing the color of the liturgy (ordinary (numbered) time, lent, martyrs, particular feasts. Since the clothing we wear both conveys info to others and influences us, I thought of it as a way to put the season on me (where I can't ignore it).

March 07, 2009 1:16 AM  
Blogger Nan said...

I have now seen both the pink reader, whose sweater matched the vestments exactly, and the purple one who at least wore a different shade.

It strikes me as very jr. high; like the people in the workplace who wear red on 2/14, green on 3/17 and still expect everyone else to do the same.

March 22, 2009 1:04 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Nan: One of the ushers had a pink sweater on today. Not sure that was intentional or not. However, she normally does not wear colors that bright so I went hmmmm

March 22, 2009 1:17 PM  

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