Cathy's Multiple Choice Quiz (a.k.a. I'd Rather Be at Adoration!)
1) Why do you wear that chapel veil? Is it
a) to show appropriate reverence for Our Lord?
b) to look more pious then any other woman in the Church?
c) to hide my "bad hair day"
d) because I think I look lovely in it.
e) Not applicable. I'm a man, though I think I would look lovely in it!
f) Not applicable. I'm a man, and I'm not going to look like a sissy!
2) Why do you refuse to participate in the Sign of Peace during the N.O. Mass? Is it
a) because I have an infectious cold,
b) because I think the Sign of Peace is one of the many "errors" of the Church post-VII,
c) because I don't like touching ANYBODY ewww, you just don't know where that hand has been,
d) because I hate "that guy/gal" and I'm not shaking their hand-no way!
e) I always participate in the Sign of Peace when the priest asks us to.
3) Why do you insist on kneeling during the Sanctus at an Novus Ordo Mass in the United States of America?
a) Because I think it's reverent,
b) My knees just gave out
c) Because I think it's beef chips (Deep Curtsy to Fr. Auman of The Ask Father Question Box!) that the church does not mandate that everyone do it!
d) I remember the days when we had to with fond affection.
e) Not applicable. I stand.
4) Why are you beating your breast during the Agnes Dei?
a) To remind myself that I am a sinner and to ask for God's Mercy
b) Because I enjoy hurting myself
c) I want all the people in the church to see how devout I am
d) I think everyone should beat their breast and I'll show them how it's done!
5) Why do you hold hands during the Our Father?
a) I love my family and I want everyone to know it!
b) Everyone else is doing it so it must be o.k.
c) The guy next to me grabbed my hand and I did not want to hurt his feelings-even though I'm not comfortable with it.
d) I want to unite myself with the members of Christ's Body.
e) I saw the hand holding during the Lord's Prayer at an Evangelical service once and I thought it was really cool!
6) Why do you refuse to bow or kneel during the phrase: "BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, HE WAS BORN OF THE VIRGIN MARY AND BECAME MAN" in the Creed?
a) I did not know we had to
b) My back hurts/my knees hurt
c) I think it's ridiculous that we are asked to
d) I don't know the words to the Creed so I usually just "space out" during that part of the Mass.
e) Not applicable. I always give the Incarnation its due reverence.
7) Bonus question: What's the point of this quiz?
a) I don't know.
b) There is no point.
c) Cathy be straight up trippin'!
d) I'm pretty sure Cathy is messin' with my head, I'm just not sure how or why and it scares me.
e) It's too freakin' cold to go outside this evening and Cathy needed something to do to keep her away from the refridgerator.
f) A,C,D and E.
a) Good answer!
b) Wrong answer!
c) Wrong answer! Get a new hairdresser!
d) Wrong answer! Vanity thy name is_____(your name here)!
e) Could go either way. I admire your piety, but I question your sexuality.
f) Good answer!
a) Acceptable answer. I, personally, would prefer you not shake my hand if you are ill. I promise, I will understand!
b) Wrong answer! Face it, friend, we are not living in 1925 anymore!
c) Wrong answer! Bring Wet Wipes for yourself and get over it.
d) Wrong answer! It's called the Sign of PEACE, ok? Nuff said.
e) Good answer! With that, I hope you are not dashing all over the church in your quest to find a hand to shake. Stay in your seat and shake the hands of those nearest to you. It's not a popularity contest. It's a prepartion for Communion.
a) Acceptable answer. The faithful do not have to kneel during the Sanctus for a Novus Ordo Mass. You can usually identify the Trindentine Mass fans at an N.O. They are the people kneeling during the Sanctus. I can't help but question their motives in bringing this Tridentine posture to the N.O. However, reverence, is a good thing!
b) Acceptable answer. Get to a doctor ASAP!
c) Wrong answer! If you are kneeling to make a "political statement" then your motivation is all wrong.
d) Wrong answer! You are, in essence, wishing that the last 40 years had never happened. Get over it.
e) Good answer! According to the General Instruction of the Roman Missal, in the U.S., the normal posture is standing. If you are at a Tridentine Mass you would be kneeling. However, for purposes of this question you are at an Novus Ordo Mass.
a) Acceptable answer! Breast beating during the Agnes Dei is not required under either the Tridentine or Novus Ordo Masses. But, if you selected this your motives are good even if you are an oddball.
b) Wrong answer! Get professional help stat!
c) Wrong answer! You are not at the Mass to make a statement about your own personal holiness for all the faithful to see and be amazed. Better that the Lord see and be amazed.
d) Wrong answer! You are not at Mass to show off, nor to make a statement about how the official postures at the Mass should be changed because YOU want it to be so.
a) Wrong answer! (Stop it, I can hear you howling!) Well, aren't you special? The very fact that you managed to get your family to attend Holy Mass together is all I, a stranger, need to see to know that you love each other.
b) Wrong answer! Legion was placed into a herd of pigs and they all ran into the lake and drowned together.
c) Acceptable answer. Maybe you don't want to be rude, but seriously, you should learn to say: no.
d) Acceptable answer. The USCCB is "conflicted" on the issue of hand-holding during the Lord's Prayer. Conflicted in that they don't explicitly say its wrong. But, does their lack of clarity, or silence, on this issue make it right?
e) Wrong answer! What were you doing at an Evangelical service anyway? I hope you did not use it as a substitute for Sunday Mass or a Holy Day of Obligation Mass. If so, you have a Confession to make.
a) Wrong answer! You either need some serious Catholicism courses (check with your Priest) or you need to read your Missalette (where it says, very clearly, what you are supposed to be doing, and saying, and when). You DO have access to a Missalette, right? If not, buy one--NOW!
b) Acceptable answer! See a doctor. If this is a permanent condition, an inclination of the head (if you are able) is better then nothing.
c) Wrong answer! If you feel imposed upon by the Celebration that Christ handed down to us, I'm sure your stance will be duly remembered at the moment of your death-and not in a positive way.
d) Wrong answer! If you are "spaced out" during any point of the Mass and/or you just have not bothered to learn the recitation of the central tenets of Our Faith then you are in serious need of an education in Catholicism and/or a good swift kick in the keister (see your Priest or habited Nun for either)
e) Best answer yet!
a) Acceptable answer! I can't fault anyone for being confused by me or my posts. Half the time, I don't know what I'm saying.
b) Wrong answer! There is always a method to my madness. Welcome to my insanity.
c) Good answer! I don't need drugs or alcohol to be silly. If you have figured that out, you are a true friend. And, sorry, to break it to you, but you probably need professional help.
d) Good answer! I admit I like to "mess" with people's minds.
e) Excellent answer! 8 degrees F with a minus 0 degree F wind chill. Heck, would YOU want to be outside? And, I certainly don't need to put on more weight.
f) Congratulations! You know me very well. Are you a single Catholic man between the ages of 35 and 45? If so, call me!
Points: None. Originally, I cooked up this elaborate point system but I abandoned it. Why? We are living in the Age of the Spirit of Affirmation. I don't want anyone to feel bad if they don't score well. Sing it with me now: Feelings, whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings....
Also, There are several answers that are not technically correct but not technically wrong. If your attitude in all things is His glory that is at least partially acceptable. Even if you are completely wrong, at least you had the right mindset. If your answer was to glorify yourself then you are completely wrong because you have lost sight of the main point of Adoration: God. In my mind, you don't have to be at Eucharistic Adoration to adore the Lord. I am by no means faulting Eucharistic Adoration; I'm a huge fan and I do it a lot. You should be Adoring the Lord all the time, not just with the Blessed Sacrament exposed.
I ask myself: Why do I blog? Is it for His glory or for mine? I hope and I pray it's for Him but, sometimes, I KNOW it's not.