August 07, 2007

Resume Builder by Beelzebub

Can we talk?

Cover letters are a total waste of time. Hi, it's me! Here's some dynamic factoids about me that you can read from my resume (see attached-PLEASE) anyway. Call me. If you don't, I'm going to call you next week. I mean that now! Don't try and tell me you aren't taking phone calls. I want to show you how motivated and persistant I am. Seriously, I'm going to show up at your doorstep!

However, my true wrath is reserved for those infernally cursed online resume builders: lengthy, automated, word-trolling forms of burning hell. Yes, yes, desperate one. Spend one hour filling in all the lines and WE STILL WANT YOU TO ATTACH YOUR RESUME ANYWAY, SUCKA! As a special additional hoop to jump thru, PLEASE MAIL COPIES OF YOUR OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPTS! and the fun never ends! EMAIL THE NAMES, ADDRESSES AND PHONE NUMBERS OF THREE PERSONAL REFERENCES!!!!

But,

wait for it....




FILL OUT OUR OFFICIAL JOB APPLICATION FORM AND DELIVER IT IN PERSON!!!!




I need to go to Adoration.



Hey, Ray, aren't you glad you sent me that email? :-)

6 Comments:

Blogger Ray from MN said...

LJ LJ LJ LJ LJ

I can't stoop laughing.

I applied a year or two ago at Lunds for night stock or something to supplement my income.

You can't submit an application. You have to do it using their computer program.

The only problem was that they must have thought that I was applying for Corporate Vice President for Strategic Planning or something. After about 15 minutes, I quit.

If that's what they want out of their stock boys, well, I'm not smart enough.

August 07, 2007 3:13 PM  
Blogger Terry Nelson said...

Are you looking for a new job? Why? Where? Remember to dress up for an interview.

August 07, 2007 3:49 PM  
Blogger swissmiss said...

Cathy:
You are one of the few local bloggers with a job. I think our economic security hinges on YOU!

And, aren't those online applications the greatest invention since sliced bread? NOT!

God bless in WHATEVER is going on in your life. I think it might have something to do with Brad and Angelina breaking up, right?

August 07, 2007 4:58 PM  
Blogger Terry Nelson said...

DID ANGELINA AND BRAD BREAK UP? HELLO!!!! AM I UNCONSCIOUS THAT I DON'T KNOW THIS STUFF? ANTONIONI DIES AND NOW THIS?

August 07, 2007 5:02 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

swissmiss: Thanks for all the PRESSURE, hon! :-)

Terry: I'm shattered. Now, who can I rely on for the latest celebrity gossip? You've been completely upstaged. My hero has fallen. Good grief!

August 07, 2007 8:41 PM  
Blogger Ray from MN said...

Who are Angelina and Brad?

August 08, 2007 7:53 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

<< # St. Blog's Parish ? >>
Locations of visitors to this page