August 24, 2007

Help Wanted

I was trolling around the web at lunch looking for trouble.

Sometimes, you just can't ask for better material!

My comments are in parentheses/bold-faced type.

Catherine of Siena (wasn't she a SAINT?) Vitual College Development Director Project Manager

Housetop Care Limited, a Registered Charity, supports two major projects at present:

1. Catherine of Siena Virtual College (wasn't she a Saint?)
2. the campaign for the Ordination of Women in the Roman Catholic Church. (I love dreamers)

We conduct our projects mainly through the Internet: (= Catherine of Siena Virtual College)
& (15 languages, half a million visitors a year = our academic library on ministries for women) .

If you join us, you will become part of an international network of people who are committed (what asylum?) to promoting the good of women (Oh, darn, I'm SO looking for a career that does NOT promote the good of women).

We already have a full-time Office Administrator who coordinates the work of our local and international volunteers.

If you become our Development Director/Project Manager, you will have responsibility for building up the support structures that make the work of our central office possible. You will help plan the academic contents of our websites, will represent aspects of the college and our work to the outside world, have charge of the fundraising and promote the international network of supporters and friends.

Essential qualities we are looking for
You are qualified (define qualified) in theology and/or gender studies (My degree in Gender Oppression Studies can FINALLY be used! Yeah!). A Masters' Degree is a minimum. Having studied (wait a minute, I thought we had to be qualified!) theology will enable you to enter more fully (into the sacred mysteries....oh, sorry, got carried away) into some aspects of the debate relating to women's ministries (I wonder if a stint at the Augustinianum would count here!?).

You can take charge as a real leader. You possess creativity, can inspire people, can achieve results, etc. (hey, that's me!)

You speak and write English (Gaawiin ninisidotanziin). English does not need to be your mother tongue, but a lot of your work will be conducted through English. (Je ne comprends pas.)

You are committed (but will be out soon for good behavior) to the cause of women (is there one cause and what is it?). You need not be a fanatic women's libber though (WHAT!?!), in fact we definitely prefer someone with a balanced approach. (oh, crap! If I can't be a fanatic about it, how can I fit into the organizations mission?)

You have fundraising ability. You can draw up project applications, meet people, etc. The precise skills in all such things can be learnt as long as the basic willingness and ability for fundraising is there. (So, you don't have to know how to draw up project apps or meet people but you better be able to come up with some moolah? If you are incapable of meeting anyone for fundraising, you better come with your own trustfund?)

You are prepared to live in/near London. Some of our work requires access to our central office in Rickmansworth (Couldn't they find a place without the word; MAN, in it? Gee whiz!). If you live not too far away from London, a flexible solution may be found. (how about La-La-Land?)

Desirable qualities that will enhance your chance of being accepted
You are a Roman Catholic or familiar with the Catholic Church (Define familiar, heck, define Roman Catholic! I dare you.). Since one of our main projects concerns the Roman Catholic Church, familiarity with that (as opposed to our) Church makes it easier to lay the contacts (see, SEX again!) and make the connections that will be required (wait a minute, you said up top that meeting people was not a must!). However, we realise that you may be disenchanted from the official Church for various reasons without that stopping you from being a Catholic (Is it possible to be disenchanted with the cause of women without that stopping you from being a woman?).

You have had experience of carrying real (not imaginary!) responsibilities (Slackers need not apply!). If you have actually been in charge of an organization or a project (hey, if you've ever done ANYTHING!), it would prove your leadership capability (I wonder if leading a 40-hour devotion will count? Or, running a household with 8 children?). But we are willing to consider your application if you can demonstrate your ability in another way (confirmed nutjob).

You speak more languages (as opposed to less?). Since you will be in touch with people in other countries as well, familiarity with their (who?) language (which?) is an added bonus.

You are content with a moderate salary (Your reward will be great in Heaven). Much will depend, of course, on your qualifications and abilities (I'm still waiting for those to be clearly defined!), and especially on your success in fundraising (ah, so I have a salary!). At present we do not have reserve funds from which we could afford to be generous (expect to live in the Tube). If you join us, we will want to be fair to you within your own and our posibilities (be prepared to be a volunteer).


Blogger Histor the Wise said...

Maybe they'll rename the town Rickwomynsworth?

I'm not quitting my day job, thank you, despite belonging to the gender to which most feminists actually belong.


August 24, 2007 4:20 PM  
Blogger Ray from MN said...

I wonder if a guy can apply for that job. It sounds like a great place to meet 60 and 70 year old women!

August 24, 2007 5:17 PM  
Blogger Terry Nelson said...

Oh, I hope you sent this to Adoro - she's looking for work you know.

August 24, 2007 6:57 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...


August 24, 2007 7:54 PM  
Blogger Adoro te Devote said...

Infiltrate! Convert! Insurrection! REVOLUTION! ONWARD TO HOLINESS!

Oh...sorry...that was St. Joan of Arc's job...that and restoring the crown to the Dauphin.

I read the ad...nah. I don't wanna live in London. Besides, it's a very badly written ad...clearly they don't need my help to implode; their ignorance is already doing that.

Besides, I'd be totally out of place; my hair is only a little gray and I've actually READ the V2 documents

August 25, 2007 9:28 PM  
Blogger Laura The Crazy Mama said...

Totallly funny! I would love to see the application/resume of a person who would bother to figure out if their "qualifications" actually qualified them for such a job!

August 26, 2007 6:09 AM  
Anonymous rosamundi said...

Rickmansworth's not even in London. It's way out in the wilds of Hertfordshire. Beyond Zone 6, even. Horrors.

August 26, 2007 3:01 PM  
Blogger swissmiss said...

I wonder what the interview would be like?

August 26, 2007 9:00 PM  
Anonymous Georgette said...

Hilarious commentary, Cathy! The last remnants of women (er, womyn, or is that wymin) who believe in all this, now looking for replacements before they are committed (there's that word again) to nursing homes -- and/or their graves!

August 27, 2007 11:02 AM  

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