August 14, 2007

Bringing It All Back Home or Time Out Of Mind?

Terry and Ray have been freaking out that I left town without warning. Don't believe anything they tell you other then the truth. The truth is that my sudden absence put a major crimp in their stalking of me. Under the guise of concern for my welfare, Ray even threatened to come by my St. Paul home looking for "storm damage". What a lame story. They are terrible stalkers. How many skilled stalkers need their pray to tell them where they are? They should be able to tell ME where I am! Where am I?

When they become extremely knowledgeable about me, they should be able to tell me; not only where I am, but WHO I am. Imagine that!

Rumor #1: I was a co-star on the HWTN's 4:30 a.m. Saturday broadcast of the Diocletian Chainsaw Massacre. Kathy with a "K" is my evil twin. What more do I need to say? Look at the title of that program. I wouldn't even go to the set of that kind of production for less then $1 million dollars a show!

Rumor #2: I was parachuting from the Devil's Tower in Wyoming. False. Not this trip. LOL!

Rumor #3: I'm replacing Karl Rove as advisor to President Bush. It would be a blast to mountain bike with the Prez on a regular basis. However, I'd probably be incarcerated everytime I wacked him upside the head and called him a dumb---. My friends don't have enough money to raise my bail. But, I've heard Guantanamo is lovely in the Spring. Vincenzo is circulating a photo of me and the Prez as "evidence" that I'm interviewing for the job. I am amazed he found that photo of me and George. However, it was taken last Spring before I had a big falling out with GB about the Easter Egg Hunt. (Note: The bushes are green and George is wearing a coat. Being a Minnesotan, I found the weather perfectly comfortable w/o a coat). Now, the Secret Service won't let me carry the symbol of my matyrdom in my arms when I visit the Oval Office. Not that it matters because GB is no longer returning my phone calls. Another friendship of mine on the ash heap because of my big mouth and my militant tendencies.(sigh)

Rumor #4: I was on a silent Carmelite retreat in the mountains. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Rumor #5: I was in Sturgis, S.D. getting ready for Bike Week. That's SO pre-reversion. Look at the evidence: I don't use drugs anymore. I won't flash anyone. I don't own a motorcycle. Leather makes my butt look REALLY big. It's like being the only sober woman at a Bachelorette Party-yawn.


Anonymous Tom Cruise said...

Glad you're back - I just got n over my head with a Romney post! See what happens when you're gone.
(I have to sign anonymously because the Mormons are after me!)

August 14, 2007 4:37 PM  
Blogger Ray from MN said...

Whaddayou mean, "freaking out?"

We were engaged in a Corporal Work of Mercy, searching out the lost sheep or something like that.

Welcome home. That "September 13" had us wondering.

I assume your house wasn't hit. But there was a lot of damage elsewhere in the Como area, I understand.

August 14, 2007 5:51 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Ray: I stand by my "freaking out" comment. In particular, in regards to Terry. Look, he thinks he's Tom Cruise!

August 14, 2007 9:18 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

Did you see the advertisement a while ago seeking a librarian for the prison at Guantanamo? All of the fun of being imprisoned, but with access to the outside world.

August 15, 2007 12:09 AM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

laurie: Can't be any worse than my current job. :-)

August 15, 2007 4:41 AM  
Blogger japhy said...

I take it a "silent retreat" would be a mortification for you? ;)

August 15, 2007 8:52 AM  
Blogger Terry Nelson said...

I don't get that?

August 15, 2007 1:13 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

japhy: I see Terry is confused so I better help him. :-)

A silent retreat could be very challenging for me. It would, also, probably do me a world of good. Obviously, blog silence doesn't scare me.

August 15, 2007 2:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cathy - great post LOL!

August 15, 2007 8:57 PM  

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