May 11, 2007

Sometimes I feel like a Motherless Child

When you loved your Mother, when you knew your Mother, when she was an active part of your life, and, then, she's gone, the absence can be devastating. My Mother's been dead for nearly 10 1/2 years and I think about her and pray for her soul every day.

Mother's Day is tougher for me then her birthday or the anniversary of her death.

I'm sure it's because I've been inundated for the the last month with ads telling me I need to buy my Mom something on Mother's Day, I need to call her (wouldn't that be an expensive call!?), I need to send her flowers.

In my family, Mother's Day was always a special day. My Mom worked so hard to keep our home clean, our gardens beautiful, clothes, that she made herself, on our backs, good food on the table. We went all out on Mother's Day to treat her like an Empress. Breakfast in bed, we cleaned the house, we cooked dinner. I, remember, one year I washed her car for her. She loved it all. I can still see the big smile on her face.

God really blessed me with such a Mom. I"m lucky. There are many among us who never knew their Mothers, lost their Mothers at a very early age, or whose Mother's are indifferent.

I'm fortunate, in that several older women in my life really stepped in to fill the void left by my Mom's passing. So much so that I send them Mother's Day's cards every year. But, I never call them Mom, only Mother. There is only, and will ever only be, one Mom. I'm grateful that I'm not really a Motherless Child. Plus, don't forget, all of us Catholics have the Blessed Mother!

What makes a Mom? Hmmmm..that's a tough one. But, I'm sure we all have some good ideas. Mine are: a good listener, someone who puts your needs over their own, a homemaker, a good friend, a leader, a role-model.

I think men have mothering traits too. But, women make the office of motherhood special and unique.

Here's to all the Mothers out there! God Bless You.


Blogger Ma Beck said...

Actually, Cathy, the call is free.

What a lovely tribute to your mother, who was obviously a lovely woman.
God bless.

May 11, 2007 6:41 PM  
Blogger Adoro te Devote said...

I feel like that around Father's day, which, to complicate matters, is very close to my birthday. I was nearly born on Father's Day, and Dad was so excited at that prospect.

Oh, now I'm going to cry...

My heart goes out to you. I know what it's like, just from a different perspective.

May 12, 2007 5:39 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Thanks, ladies. Ma: Good point, as always.

May 14, 2007 7:50 AM  
Blogger beez said...


I lost my mom 5 years ago (she was right here, I swear!) and it was the most devastating thing that ever happened to me. Even losing my Dad wasn't as bad. (I guess I'm a Momma's Boy).

However, I realize that without the loss of my Mom, I wouldn't be the Catholic I am today. Without that loss (as part of a complete loss of everything I had), I wouldn't have returned to the Church.

So, a couple months ago I was at a discernment retreat. When I was unable to sleep, I looked out of the window to see a vision (full moon over the horizon and reflecting on the river) that was incredible on three levels:

1) It was breathtaking.
2) It was my Mom's favorite thing when we went to an old river house.
3) I hadn't seen it since before my Dad died in 1994.

I realized that this was a way in which my Mom could tell me that she was happy with the path I was on. It showed me that she was with Him, because she got Him to make it possible.

Also, I realized that on earth we all sometimes "approve" of things to spare our loved ones, rather than saying what we really feel. Now, however, my parents have no reason to "lie" to make me happy, they understand the importance of accepting God completely.

I still miss my Mom, but Mother's Day isn't nearly as important to me any more. After all, what can I possibly give her that is better than what she already has?

May 15, 2007 8:31 AM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

beez: Thanks for the comment. God Bless You! Keep us posted on your priestly discernment!

May 15, 2007 12:01 PM  

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