November 15, 2006

Be Still and Know that I Am God

I am depressed. I've identified it and I have it.

My Litany:


I got up this morning and stared at my disastrous kitchen with 3 days worth of dishes all over the place. I don't have the inclination to do them.

I hate my commute to work. I feel like I spend 1/2 my day in the car.

I'm not sleeping well. I get up late and I'm late for work.

I can barely get to the gym and then I hate myself for my weight gain.

My job quit being stimulating to me over a year ago and my job hunt has yielded little to nothing.

This Friday is the 10th anniversary of my Mom's death.

Next week, I'll be lying my annual wreath on the grave of my Mom and my brother at Ft. Snelling National Cemetary. I know I'll be crying.

There seem to be fewer and fewer people at our annual family hunt. Not because they all quit coming, but because they have died.

I'm not in a State of Grace right now but I can't seem to motivate myself to seek out a Confessional.

The catulpa tree in front of my house is not growing money.

The holidays are coming which is always a stressful time of preparing special dinners and shopping.

Christmas decorations need to be put up and Christmas cards sent out. Where in H am I going to find the time?

The weather is dark and dreary.

I cued some music on my computer without looking and Frank Sinatra Sings for Only the Lonely started up. Even I had to laugh at the irony.

What's a person to do? What's a Catholic to do?

My plan:

"Get thee to a Confessional". If Shakespeare did not write that line then he should have. Maybe he thought it.

Clean the house this weekend.

It's ok to cry at my Mom and brother's grave. It's ok to miss them.

Do the best job I can with what I have. Quit b-----n'

Pray for the Souls of the Dead

I need to try a special fertilizer for my catulpa so it will grow money. It's called: saving.

No matter how tempting, I need to make the Lord a priority. I don't want to sacrifice Prayer, Worship or Adoration time to make room in the schedule for secular matters (including cleaning the house, cooking and shopping) that SEEM to be SO important but really aren't. Hmmm...what's more important, shopping for presents, or going to Benediction?

The Lord and I at the Pearly Gates:

Thus saith the Lord: "Cathy, I see you gave up the opportunity to knock some time off in Purgatory for the opportunity to be the first in line when Best Buy opened to get that new XBox. Oh well, that's ok. I sat there and waited for you. Now you can sit in Purgatory and wait for me for a while".

Why am I posting this now? Why am I posting this at all?

Do you know the Advent/Christmas season is the #1 time of year for suicide? How ironic is that? The time of the Birth of Our Lord, is the time that most people will take their own lives. I'm not suicidal. I'm just temporarily down. I know I'm not the only person who gets frustrated and overwhelmed this time of year. I know I'm not the only person who experiences depression.

Next week is the traditional start of IT ALL. Gentle Reader, start planning your mental and spiritual health plan for getting through the Holidays-NOW.

One of my favorite Scriptural versus is: Be Still and Know that I Am God (Psalm 46:10)

Be Still
Be-ing Still
Make your Being Still
Be with God

9 Comments:

Blogger Adoro Te Devote said...

Yes, go to Confession. And then go pick up the book I blogged about tonight. Trust me...or rather, trust that God has sent me to tell you to read of this saint!

Anyway...about the dishes, keep in mind that we cannot shirk responsibilities even for adoration. We need time in prayer, but not at the cost of doing what NEEDS to be done. I'm guilty of this as well, so I"m not picking on you in any way! I'm right there with the dishes in the sink, the unscrubbed floors, the pile of junk mail on the table and the unvacuumed carpets. Oh, and the laundry.

Christmas decorations can wait...it's not even Advent yet! Get that one off your list for now.

Then as far as shopping goes..just get a list, go pray, and then God will help you complete what you need to do.

I can't remember which Saint said it, but it was something along the lines of spending a half hour every day praying before the Blessed Sacrament. And if you're REALLY busy...then you need an hour.

There is profound wisdom in that. So yes, go pray, and offer your frustrations and Jesus will help you prioritize so that the things you need can be accomplished.

There...I'm done pontificating. Sorry...I'm having a pontifical day for some reason. This is weird...I hope it ends. I'm too tired to pontificate any further on this particular pontification.

And I haven't even DISCUSSED the Pontiff! :-)

God bless!

November 15, 2006 9:35 PM  
Blogger Ray from MN said...

Psalm 103



1 Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.

2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

3 Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;

4 Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with loving kindness and tender mercies;

5 Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.

6 The LORD executeth righteousness and judgment for all that are oppressed.

7 He made known his ways unto Moses, his acts unto the children of Israel.

8 The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.

9 He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever.

10 He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

11 For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.

12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

13 Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.

14 For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.

15 As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth.

16 For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more.

17 But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children;

18 To such as keep his covenant, and to those that remember his commandments to do them.

19 The LORD hath prepared his throne in the heavens; and his kingdom ruleth over all.

20 Bless the LORD, ye his angels, that excel in strength, that do his commandments, hearkening unto the voice of his word.

21 Bless ye the LORD, all ye his hosts; ye ministers of his, that do his pleasure.

22 Bless the LORD, all his works in all places of his dominion: bless the LORD, O my soul.


I have you, your Mom and Brother in my prayers.

Take your list and do one item a day. Make sure that prayer and relaxation/recreation is on your list. Don't over-do it. Stick to the schedule.

November 16, 2006 9:28 AM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

I knew if I blogged they would come. Thanks for the wisdom and support, my friends.

November 16, 2006 10:58 AM  
Blogger Angela Messenger said...

Cathy - first of all - the anniversary of your mom's death. Cry as much as you need to. You actually may be down not because of Christmas but because the anniversary is imminent. I always get into a funk for about a month before the anniversary of my own mom's death. I even take the day off work now and it helps so much.

Your job - I hear ya - I am in the same place. Keep looking, keep trying. Pray to St. Joseph for intercession.

Christmas decorations - cut your usual list in half. The first year my kids couldn't come home for Christmas I was in a panic but at the same time it freed me to NOT decorate so much, bake so much, cook so much, everything and nothing so much. I concentrated on the religious aspect of the holiday and it was much more rewarding.

Cleaning the house - what Adoro said. Offer up your cleaning for souls in purgatory. We can also find the Lord in the pots and pans.

Find out when confession is. Go.

There, I will stop (s)mothering you now!Saying a prayer for you right NOW.

November 16, 2006 12:34 PM  
Anonymous kate said...

Dear Cathy,

Right now it is cool but very sunny outside. I hope you can take some time to just a quick walk and this sunny, sunny day. It has been so cloudy here in MN.

You are in my prayers.

Katie

November 16, 2006 1:45 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Thanks Angela and Kate for the prayerful support. Katie: You are right, it is a nice day in MN!

November 16, 2006 2:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In your morning offering offer every thing you do and say to God. This way you will watch what you say and you will want to get every thing you need to get done to please our Lord. My son also put the Roasary, Devine Mercy and some prayers on an mp3 player. I put my ear phones on then pray as I get my chores done, Alot of the saints used to pray the roasary and other prayers as they went from village to village! We can do it as we go from chore to chore and get a tape or cd for your car too. After you do this awhile you will notice the joy is back in your life and you are able to listen to that still samll voice... Of God!

Robin

November 17, 2006 2:51 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Robin: Great idea! Thanks.

November 17, 2006 8:59 PM  
Blogger Christine said...

Cathy,
You are in my prayers this coming Thanksgiving and Christmas season!
Chris

November 21, 2006 10:41 AM  

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