September 20, 2006

Minnesota Catholics Call for a Day of Mild Annoyance

Dateline: September 19, 2006
Location: Church Basement Somewhere in the TC area

(Note: All the individuals quoted in this story requested that their real identities remain a secret. They chose their aliases. Furthermore, they were all wearing snowmobile suits and ski masks)

A group of Minnesota Catholics in the Twin Cities met Tuesday evening, September 19th, to talk about issues of concern to them. They think Catholics may be the target of some anti-Catholic prejudice in their community. Over plates of green jello salad, hotdish, and numerous cups of coffee they expressed their feelings.

"I'm mad as heck and I just can't take it anymore" Polish Catholic Guy from Da Range said.
"Ya, it's very upsetting" Adored Catholic Lady from the Northwest Suburbs chimed in.
"It really gets my knickers in a twist" Desperately Vigilant Catholic Mom stated.

What are these Minnesota Catholics upset about? A sentence in the U of MN ad for a play that says: "[It is] "a wild send up of Catholicism"

"The Minnesota Catholics are taking the sentence completely out of context. They forget the other good things the U does for Catholics. The good things escape me right now, so I'll get back to you on that" U of M Spokesman, Wan Bolter, said.

"There is nothing funny about Catholicism, let me tell you" Underground Priest/Spiritual Advisor said. "Oh, by the way, please don't print my name. I don't want the Chancery to know I'm involved."

How angry are the Minnesota Catholics?

"Well, anger is kind of a strong word, dontcha know?" Polish Catholic Guy from Da Range said. "Really, I"m quite annoyed. Not, extremely annoyed, just mildly annoyed, in general. This is the state of "Minnesota Nice", by the way."

At the end of the evening, they decided to call all Minnesota Catholics to attend Mass this Friday, September 22nd and unite with them in a Day of Mild Annoyance.

How can you express your mild annoyance?

* Mutter under your breath when your Rosary is tangled up.
* Flinch when someone drops their kneeler too loudly after the Sanctus.
* Furrow your brow when a baby is screaming behind you during Mass.
* Respectfully, ask the Homilist if he can start over from the top when someone has a coughing fit during the Homily.
* Sing "Tantum Ergo", instead of "Come, Adore Him" during Benediction.

"Above all, we want it made clear that the Day of Mild Annoyance is not a call to violence" Adored Catholic Lady from the Northwest Suburbs said.

Note: By the way, this satirical post is an attempt to alleviate my own stress. By no means, is it intended to indicate that the U of MN is "off the hook". It's also, a response to the "Day of Rage" that some Muslims are calling for on Friday.


Blogger Ray from MN said...

Priceless! My big regret is that Blogger doesn't allow images in comments.

Made my day!

September 20, 2006 12:09 PM  
Blogger Tim said...

Clever use of satire to relieve yourself of angst.

September 21, 2006 4:40 PM  
Blogger Sister Mary Martha said...

but...what was the play?

And for the annoyed....

September 21, 2006 4:43 PM  
Blogger Cathy_of_Alex said...

Sister: The Pope and the Witch

September 21, 2006 8:00 PM  

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